bleeding love
by toolostforyou
Summary: She didn't want to be that person again, but she wasn't going to let New York happen in LA.will continue if readers want me to. addiecooper, addiepete, cooperviolet
1. bleeding love

_Closed off from love  
I didn't need the pain  
Once or twice was enough  
And it was all in vain  
Time starts to pass  
Before you know it you're frozen_

This wasn't planned; well the sex part was planned except she hadn't expected it to be this person. It was meant to be Pete, the Oceanside wellness manwhore who couldn't commit. Okay, well the guy that was coming close to sending her over the edge was a slight man whore but she was more likely to get hurt by Pete. Her body was going into over drive, the last person she had slept with was Alex and she couldn't stand that he was the last person to touch her. The showerhead didn't give her the pleasure that she wanted, not the contact that she wanted so badly. Her red silk gown was lying on the floor by her bed and his clothes were littered around the house. The French panties, matching corset and stockings were on the bed somewhere she just had no idea where.

Her chest was heaving from the sensation that she was running through her body and she was trying her hardest not to moan out her dream guy's name. The man who's somewhere else and her guess is screwing some blond instead of her. She just wished that he had rang her and told her that he wasn't going to turn up. Yet, she didn't want to know if he was at someone else's house. She shouldn't be thinking like this because her body was arching up into the one that was above hers, his fingers hitting the right spot in side her and his thumb just rubbing her cilt the right way.

She was trying her best to stay quiet in case Pete was outside or downstairs, she knew that he wasn't and it was just her mind that wanted him to be their. She couldn't say a name because she knew that it would be Pete's and this guy had already been hurt tonight away by the person he loved. This was wrong, past wrong. As her moans grew louder, she heard her cell phone go off beside her. Reaching her hand out to the bedside table, she looked at the caller ID, when she found that it was Violet she ended the call. She didn't want to get psycho analysed by her when she should be with him, she should be the one that he was pleasuring.

Letting out a small scream when she felt her climax hit her. At the same time she was trying to forget that she had already came twice since they had ended up in her bedroom. It was like; it was everything they wanted to let out was being let out. Or maybe they had no idea how to end this since they had to see each other at work tomorrow; this was really screwed up right now. Her life didn't need to be any more screwed up than it was and she thought that she had left all the drama behind in settle.

Looking over at him next to her, as she slowly starting to pull herself together and relax. She forgot how comforting her bed sheets were, and she didn't want to know what he was doing. She wasn't good with one night stands or one anything stands. It wasn't her thing really. Curling up under the bed sheets as she felt the weight leaving the bed and she knew that he was leaving. She didn't want to think about what she had just done. No one had the right to trust her anymore.

When the front door closed, she let out a small sob, just wishing that she had someone to hold her tight. Grabbing her cell phone, she listened to the answer phone message that Violet had left her.

_'Hey, it's Violet, which I guess you know. Pete's here and he seems like he's really sorry and he's told me what he done. He didn't ask me to ring you but I thought you should know where he was in case you were worried about him. He needed to talk about something's and I told him to tell you tomorrow so I don't know if he will. Do you know if Cooper is at Sam's since you can see into his house?'_

Addison couldn't bring herself to stop it half way through, deleting the message as soon as the options came up. She ended up crying herself to sleep, wishing that she had bothered to call and ask what was going on. She was stupid to jump to conclusions but Naomi and Sam had made him out to be like that. She didn't mean to be the whore again; she didn't mean to let some unneeded sex happen with someone that she didn't want.


	2. forgiveness

_I don't wanna spend another day,  
Pointing fingers while im placing blame,  
Im no angel, imperfect myself, cos baby I am only human,  
And I don't wanna put it all on you,  
I admit I did some painful things its true,  
And im sorry for them, no making amends,  
For always thinking I was innocent_

_forgiveness – leona lewis _

addison knew that she was always one to spend hours in the shower, more than she was meant to but she was late. after waking up this morning with dried tears stuck to her face, she felt dirtier now than she had after cheating on mark. shouldn't that be a sign that she was meant to be with pete. she felt like she had cheated on someone who she wasn't even dating or whatever. she had scrubbed herself in the shower until she was red raw, wanting to get rid of any signs that he had been there.

walking into osw, she walked straight to the receptions desk and wordlessly took all her messages from dell along with the folder for her first patient. stepping into the hallway, she dropped her things as soon as she saw pete and cooper talking, which had only attracted un wanted attention to herself.

"shit." she muttered as she stuffed everything into her bag that had fallen out while picking up the pink papers and a4 sheets that were scattered across the floor. she was glad that she had gone with the safe choice with a pair of trousers since if she was wearing a dress like yesterday, anyone behind her would have a nice view.

"i knew i always made women's knees give way." she looked up when she heard the familiar voice, quickly standing up when she had gotten all her work sorted out. she felt even guiltier now that she was face to face with pete.

"i'm busy." she said before pushing open the door to her office, wanting to get away from him because she didn't want him to question why she was acting like she was right now. she felt like she was walking on egg shells and if she said something he would work out what had happened.

knowing that he had followed her into her office since her door took too long to close and his shoes squeaked against the floor. looking up at him as she sat down on her chair but managing to flick open the file at the same time. "what do you want?" she asked, trying to act as if she felt more pissed off at him than guilty. she was normally good as masking her feelings but pete seemed too good at reading her for anyone's good. he was properly the only guy who actually stopped to think about feelings. even if he hadn't called her last now.

"i want to talk about last night, about why i wasn't, there." she knew that he was sorry by the tone of his voice, but she raised an eyebrow when he sat down on the couch her in office. "i… I have feelings for you and i don't know how to do anything but fun, and when my wife died, we were trying for a baby. and thinking about what you wanted just brought me back to that point, that I want a child even if I don't seem like the committed guy i want to me."

addison was trying her hardest to hold back any guilt, it wasn't her fault that he didn't turn up. she shouldn't have taken the self pity sex and it wasn't like she had drank a lot so she couldn't blame it on being drunk. this was so screwed up and she didn't know how to stop it from hurting. "what are you trying to say?" she asked trying to work out what he was trying to say to her, she had a feeling she would die if he said that he wanted to try being a couple. she knew that she had something for him since he always made her heart flutter.

"if you want to, maybe we could try dating, but only if you stop calling me a quack. it's just violet made me release how much i wanted you and spend time with you together." Addison let a small smile spread across her lips at his words, knowing that he managed to make fun out of something or another. "that's the smile i've been waiting to see." she bit her lip as she watched him walk over her before she felt his lips softly against hers, kissing him back, as if it was her way of saying sorry to him.

"i'll try to stop calling you names." she replied, just wanting to guilt to disappear right now because she wasn't in the mood for herself to be mocking herself. okay, that made no sense to her right now but she didn't mind. to them all, violet was the free shrink but she couldn't talk to her about her guilt and how to get over it. she wasn't sure who she could talk to because if she told naomi it would properly get back to violet. "and I have a patient."

"i wont keep you waiting but i'll be waiting for you tonight when you finish." feeling his lips against her own, the kiss more soft then the desperate kisses they had shared before. watching him as he walked out of her office, she rested her head against her desk and let out a tiny annoyed scream. why did she have to do the stupid thing? she really needed a shrink that didn't know anyone who worked here, she just wasn't sure if that was possible.


	3. footprints in the sand

_I promise you  
I'm always there  
When your heart is full of sadness and despair  
I'll carry you  
When you need a friend  
You'll find my footprints in the sand_

_Footprints in the sand – Leona Lewis_

Addison walked out of her office, the guilt had been with her all day, and she couldn't look many people in the eye. She was trying to act like everything was fine or she was just having, what Naomi liked to call, an Addison off day. She was excited about her date with Pete; she just was scared that he would find out what she had done. He didn't need to know, it was nothing at all, just a mistake. Except for her, sex normally meant something, or it ended up leading to something happening which wasn't planned.

Finding Pete sat in the waiting room, looking at something, which she guessed was a patient's file. "Hey, sorry if I kept you waiting" She apologized with a smile as she walked over to him before sitting down on the chair next to him. She couldn't handle with questions over why she was acting awkward because she would just spill what had happened.

"Hey, and no you didn't I just finished." He replied before leaning over and pressing his lips against Addison's cheek for a few seconds. She was sure that he could be the perfect guy if he wanted to but that was the problem. If he was like this, she was scared that she wasn't going to be good enough for him.

"So where are we going on his date?" She asked him, she still didn't know everywhere in the area but she knew of most places. She normally ate with Naomi at her house or Addison's depending on where Maya was that night.

"T's Thai." She looked at him with a slightly raised eyebrow, wanting to know how he knew that she loved Thai food. He had properly asked Naomi before hand, since she was the only one who knew her well enough to know that.

"My favorite and at least I don't have to change." She pointed out, since she would end up spending forever trying to find a dress to wear. It was a casual place even if it seemed like it could be busy at times.

"No, you don't have to since I have a feeling you take hours to get ready in the morning." Addison let out a small laugh as she stood up at the same time as him, taking his hand when he held it out to her. Maybe they could work if they tried hard enough and listened to each other, learn from past mistakes.

"Yup that's me." She said with a nod of her head as she looked at him, knowing that if she could get over her guilt they might be able to work. She knew that she would have to come clean at some point. She just didn't know when for that matter.

Following him out of the practice, a soft smile on her lips, and trying to keep her mind off anything but the night a head of her.

By the end of the date, they had ended up walking across the beach, Addison's heels and bag in one of her hands and her other hand in Pete's. Tonight had gone well so far, they had talked about the day and went slightly into their past. Both offering small details, Addison explained the story about Derek, Mark and herself much to her surprise, Pete trusted her that she wouldn't do anything like that again. While Pete told her about his time in China and his life since his wife died, which Addison understood that he didn't want to talk about his marriage, yet. Even if he promised her that he would get to that at some point.

"My parents had this dog when I was younger, this little yappy thing that looks so much like Sam's." She said, as she looked up at him, the grains of sand tickling her between her toes. "And I really didn't like the dog so I used to pull on it's tail, as soon as I saw Sam's dog I thought it was ours that's come back to haunt me." She said with a smile and let out a small laugh as Pete shook her head at her.

"You have a very vivid imagination at times." Addison glared at him playfully, knowing that she could but the dogs were identical and it wasn't like she was ever nice to the dog. It never tried to hurt her or anything but she used to pull its tail and throw toys at it when she was a child who didn't know better.

"Okay, I can at times but you never saw me as a child." She pointed out to him as she squeezed his hand softly before she felt his lips against her forehead which made her feel like she was about to melt into the ground.

"I'm sure you were adorable." He was one for dishing out the comments and she had learnt that already, since he seemed to be doing it at any chance possible. He made her feel like everything fine and that nothing was going to happen to them, that they would last.

"You are so cheesy." She pointed out with a smirk as they walked onto her patio as she looked for her keys in her bag, letting go of his hand at the time.

Opening the door, she looked at him for a few seconds. "I would ask you in but I don't sleep with people on first dates." She said with a smirk on her lips as she placed her heels down inside of the door. Planning on staying outside for a while longer.

"Yet, we kissed before we even dated and you wanted sex yesterday." She let out a sigh while rolling her eyes at him, knowing that it was true but she wasn't going to let him in because she didn't want a repeat of last night.

"That was different, and I don't want the relationship to just be about sex." She whispered before kissing him softly, just wanting to shut him up before he came up with some smart arse remark. She didn't want to put up with the cocky side of him all the time. "And anyway, you can go next doors to Sam's and get drunk." She said with laugh, knowing that she would end up with a remark over that.

"Because I'm going to have sex with him." He teased as he started to walk backwards, onto the sand again as Addison leaned against the door frame leading inside just looking at him.

"Make sure you record it for me." She shouted out to him, and laughing as he pulled a face at her, closing the door, she locked it behind her. Leaning against it, a content smile on her lips, even If the guilt was growing, Pete made her feel like she was worth everything in the world.


End file.
